Week 28

17 Sep

Don’t let that smile fool you…

Week 28 was still filled with lots of emotions, most of which were negative.

I was waiting for an appointment with a dietitian and diabetes counselor which was scheduled to happen midweek. I knew that during this class I was going to learn about what I could and couldn’t eat, I would have to record everything that I put in my mouth, and test my blood sugar 4 times a day (something I was REALLY not looking forward to since I hate needles and blood!).

I continued to do the best I could with my diet based on what I had read on the internet, but it was SO overwhelming. I basically have to eat only complex carbohydrates and with each carbohydrate I needed to pair a protein like meat, cheese or yogurt. Now for most people this wouldn’t be an issue, but when you don’t like cheese OR yogurt protein is hard to come by. With all of this, I needed to continue gaining weight which would prove to be a difficult task! Overnight, eating went from something fun and enjoyable to something I dread. I was worried about every.single. thing that I put in my mouth and how it would affect my sugars and the baby.

I was also plagued with a lot of guilt. Guilt that I could have done something more and prevented all these unnecessary risks to the baby, but  also guilt for being upset about all the things I could no longer eat. My family thought I was being selfish. Obviously, having a healthy baby is going to make all the trials and tribulations worth it, but in the midst of everything all I could think about was what I was going to miss out on for the next 13 weeks.

A wine tasting walk we had planned for later in the week was already going to be a little less fun without wine, but now I couldn’t even eat the food! My birthday was going to be day where I wouldn’t be able to indulge in anything sweet. I had planned a vacation for next week to Tahoe and now I was second guessing whether we should even go. I didn’t want to make any mistakes with my diet because I felt like if I didn’t follow the rules and something happens to the baby, it would be my fault. That’s a lot of pressure! Everyone told me to just think positive, but that was definitely challenging considering I had thought positive about the initial diabetes test and look how that turned out! I did find it helpful reading about other people’s experiences, so I was constantly trolling the internet looking for preggos like me, since I knew no one IRL that had gestational diabetes. Emily over at Oh! Apostrophe‘s post on her experience really made me feel better in realizing that I wasn’t the only one to feel these types of emotions.

The Hubs has been super supportive through all of this! He was the only husband to attend the Sweet Success class that we went to with the dietitian. I wanted him to be there so he could learn about all the dos and donts as well. Most of what we learned I had already read about, but there were some additional rules that I had to follow. No milk or fruit in the morning or paired at the same meal. Protein is your friend. Fake sugar is the way to go when you want something sweet. (This was something I definitely struggled with as I normally don’t like to eat fake sugar, but let’s just say around Week 30 something had to give!) The dietitian was really nice though and was quite impressed that I had already started tracking all of the foods that I had been eating and was trying to follow the “rules”.

The one extra think I did have to deal with was the testing…

This little machine became my new best friend – meeting 4 times a day. At the beginning I totally sucked at it!  I would prick myself and not be able to get enough blood. I would try again with the same result. I would cry in frustration. I would also cry every time my sugar numbers fell out of the prescribed range (a result of the engineer in me). Fasting your number should be 60 – 90 (which I always seemed to pass), but one hour after eating it needs to be between 100 – 130. Let’s just say it is REALLY tough to figure out what you can eat or how much walking you need to do after you eat to get yourself right within that range. Once I started testing, most of the time I would get numbers below 100, but everyone once in awhile I would get one slightly above (a 134 or 143) and it would send me into a tailspin.

One of these tailspins occurred the morning of our annual wine and food tasting extravaganza in downtown Livermore. I got a slightly high number after breakfast and it sent me into a frenzy regarding the rest of my day. I packed my own lunch and resolved not to indulge in any of the food or sweet treats that we were bound to encounter throughout the afternoon. Luckily, I have awesome friends, so they made the day much more fun making Week 28 end much better than it started!

Here are a couple of pics from the afternoon:

** Wish I had remembered to take a pic when more of my girlfriends were still around!**

I can’t believe that next year we’ll probably be doing this same wine walk except there will be a stroller and a little one in tow! Oh and you can guarantee that I will be indulging in both the food and the wine! 🙂

P.S. – If you want to learn more about gestational diabetes, Mrs. Wagon over at Hellobee wrote a great series of posts all about it! See here, here and here.

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