TTC: Extreme Pleasure or Extreme Pressure?

17 Jan

During our first couple of cycles trying to conceive, The Hubs and I experienced some very stressful days (and nights!).

Making a baby isn’t always all of the fun that it is cracked up to be. It can be a very trying time where both parties feel extreme pressure and NOT extreme pleasure.

I like sex as much as the next girl, but the extreme focus that I put on it as we began our journey to baby was something I had not previously done in our relationship. Because of this, The Hubs felt like I was only using him for his sperm, which was understandable based on the way I was acting. On the other hand, I felt like every day that we didn’t have sex because of being tired or not having the time, was a missed opportunity.

To overcome this, I made a point of making The Hubs feel loved and appreciated by not just concentrating on having fun during times of potential ovulation. I realized that I needed to try and cater to his needs as well and not just focus on my own (should be one of the first things you learn during marriage, but how soon we forget!) We also tried to add some spontaneity when we could so it didn’t feel so scheduled (since I’m sure most of you know, spontaneity is not always part of the equation.) We needed to both feel like we were in this together!

Recognizing each others struggles definitely helped us to try to do what we could to experience more pleasure during the baby making process. I think the things we learned about each other during this time in our lives will be helpful even in our post-TTC days!

Has the TTC process ever caused you or your spouse any pressure?

How did you overcome it?

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One Response to “TTC: Extreme Pleasure or Extreme Pressure?”

  1. jennmarie6 January 18, 2012 at 5:17 pm #

    Spontanaety and making DH feel “loved” and not just “needed” is a monthly struggle – and I laugh when he is the one who asks me “Did you POAS? Are you ovulating?” I never thought TTC would invovle texts at work that said “I’m ovulating! 8:30pm BD!”

    I try to not tell him when I’m ovulating so that he feels less “used” … it’s hard when he’s always asking!

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